Must Get Out
by Questionablelight
Summary: ADMM one-shot, song-fic to Must Get Out


_**You know I really confuse myself at times. Not to long ago I hated Harry Potter, now I love it. Even less long ago I vowed that I would never write a song fic, and now I have. If anyone understands my brain, explain what it is doing next to me please because there are some things I really don't want to do, that means writing slash which was next on my list of do nots. I am still working on Not Again, im just currently still trying to find my inspiration, it has wandered off again, irresponsible things that they are!**_

_**Summary: ADMM one-shot, song-fic to Must Get Out (Maroon5)**_

_**If anyone is turned off or sickened at the thought of this pairing, leave now and forever hold your piece of mind or stomach. **_

_**And now for the disclaimer: I reluctantly admit that I own neither Harry Potter nor Must Get Out. They my friends; are owned by the fantastic J. K. Rowling and Maroon 5, respectively. **_

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**__**"Must Get Out"**_

I've been the needle and the thread  
Weaving figure eights and circles round your head

Its funny, I often wonder about what would happen to this school and everything else if I wasn't your right hand in everything. Its amazing how many times I have had to rescue you from your own carelessness. Running around like a chook with its head cut off after you, organizing everything that you get hooked into doing. Like that ball last year for ex-ministry workers that you foolishly agreed to host at Hogwarts during the holidays. Sometimes I think that the high and mighty Albus Dumbledore really isn't all he is made out to be. How did you ever defeat Grindleward if you can't even tell when you're being played. It was the week before the ball that I found you late one night sitting amidst piles and piles of paper work as well as cuttings about certain bands. I felt so sorry for you and the way you had been duped by Emily Bones that I took over the planning of the ball. It was only lucky that I had lots of practice with organising events over the years I have been your deputy at Hogwarts. And one day, perhaps one day I will be able to organise our own wedding and ball. Maybe…

_I try to laugh but cry instead  
Patiently wait to hear the words you've never said  
_

It is slowly killing me you know. Eating me from the inside. I desperately want to tell you how I feel, but I know that I couldn't. I try to look on the bright side that it's only infatuation, but I know that I'm fooling myself every time you walk through that door. I know that I will never tell you but the way that the door frames your slim, willowy body is breath taking. Your breath taking, your mind and sharp wit leave me wondering every day. I marvel about how some one as perfect as you could be human. You're heaven personified to me, you're like moonbane. So beautiful and ethereal, and just as addictive. I could never get enough of you, and so I wait. Wondering if I should dare to hope, I wait for the words that my heart wishes you would say. For me, only me.

_Fumbling through your dresser drawer _

_Forgot what I was looking for  
Try to guide me in the right direction  
_

It was then that I knew, I knew that I loved you.

I had been looking for something; I think it was about a certain bands critics for the ball in your drawer. The one that you said you 'thought' it was in. Naturally you were wrong, but it didn't matter. Not when I turned around and saw you bathed in the sunlight. It set some form of a halo about you, somewhat like an angel. A bringer or justice and mercy. A truth that uncannily belongs to you, you have always been my knight in shining armour. And it has never been more pronounced than that same day. The day I received the letter. The letter that tore down my world with only a few certain words.

_Making use of all this time  
Keeping everything inside  
Close my eyes and listen to you cry  
_

I had always cherished the time I spent with you. I had always for such a long time both lived for and dreaded the moments we spent together. Dreaded because I was scared that you would see the truth within my eyes. Try as I might I could never remove it. My 'trademark twinkle' as you put it always seemed to go into overdrive when they noticed your presence. It was one thing along with the way I would stare at you in stolen moments I hoped you would never notice. You being the sharp and observant person you are, a nature perhaps derived from your animagus form, would piece together the evidence and know me for what I am. A man whom is hopelessly in love with his best friend.

I had to keep it all inside, my own private secret.

I was tempted to tell you so many times, like the time you found out that your family had just been murdered by the rising Voldemort. You confessed all your fears and feelings to me about losing all of the people you loved in one go. You felt as if there was no one else to love you, and that knowledge pained you. That was the biggest battle I ever had to fight, my heart screamed that I should tell you.

I couldn't though. I couldn't because I would never know if you loved me or just wanted to have some one there. All I could to was be the loyal best friend, the one who sat there with you, beside you when something reminded you of your loss. The one who when you suddenly left a room, made your excuses while at the same time desperately wanting to run with you away from the world. Hold you tight until all could be better or as close to normal within the circumstances. But I had to wait, and wait I still do…_  
_

_I'm lifting you up  
I'm letting you down  
I'm dancing til dawn  
I'm fooling around  
I'm not giving up  
I'm making your love  
_

_This city's made us crazy and we must get out  
_

I need to leave. I need a break, I have to get away. But where will I go, there is no one left to run to.

_Albus….. _He could … no I wouldn't force that upon him. He has been so good, but it has only made me love him more. Oh curse my stupid feelings, why must they betray me like this? Having him near, comforting me only reminds me further of what I need but don't have anymore. I know its not his fault, it never could be, but I need a break. From him more than anything else. I can't even teach at the moment because every child reminds me of my nieces and nephews that ….. Albus kind as he is, has taken over my classes, he is so understanding but it makes me feel even more guilty. I have dumped all of my duties upon his already extensive and exhausting duties.

There is no choice though, I have to leave which means he will have to keep taking over my classes. No, maybe I shouldn't come back, I will only be reminded even more of what I don't have. He should hire another transfiguration teacher, I will tell him that.

No, I can't do that, it'd mean he would talk me out of it. I can not stay I will only go crazy if I do. I'm going on a ….. holiday, then I will tell him when I'm there. It's the only way. But is it the right way...?

_This is not goodbye she said  
It is just time for me to rest my head_

It isn't meant to be goodbye you said. But as I watch you walk from the doors, bags in hand, I know that it is. I know that you won't be coming back, and that knowledge breaks my heart. I cannot and refuse to plan my life with out you in it.

Yet what can I do? You need this break, I can see that. I want to take your words at face value but my logical brain tells me otherwise. My indecision is confusing me, I want to go after you, and at the same time I don't. I don't want to force you into anything, because you won't accept that way. You need to accept before you can lay foundations and build. And you will build because I am not going to give up, I will find you. Wherever you go I will follow. Even to the depths of hell and back, I would do that for you. But only after you have had time. Time that I know you need, but you will not forget, you cannot forget because I will be there. I will give you time, however long you need but I would, I will always be there…

_She does not walk she runs instead  
Down these jagged streets and into my bed  
_

' I was running…. I don't know where but I am running towards something, something I want? I do not know. I sprinted into a glade, and stopped. They were there. They were there, waiting for me. They beckoned me towards them ,and I go willingly. They were my family, all that I had were currently being embraced by the ring of trees surrounding them. Beautiful evergreens they were, never dying, never ending. Was that what happens when you die? Is there a place that you go to? Was there really a heaven? I didn't know. I wanted to find out though. There was nothing left for me in this world, and there never will be.

_What about Albus? _A treacherous voice asked within my mind. What about him, and as I said or thought it I noticed something. Their bodies had changed, decomposing flesh now grinned back at me, a putrid stench drifted towards me. I knew what would be next, the high-pitched evil laughter that was said to be heard during and after each kill. Turning away so I didn't have to have the same view as I had seen for the last million times that I'd had this nightmare, something new had happened.

Albus was now walking purposely towards me, crying out to me. I knew what would happen only moments after I saw him enter the glade. He would be next, the only other left in this world that I loved. I yelled out a warning but it was to late. The spell had hit him in the chest and he didn't even have the time to fight back. I ran towards him, but I could do nothing, nothing. I arrived just in time to see him look up to me with sad eyes. Eyes that spoke volumes, eyes that said "I love you" before going blank, devoid of all emotion. The cackle that followed me echoed through my empty mind "he will be next". With that I woke, woke to another nightmare.'

I knew that it was a dream, a nightmare. But what if it was more than that. I wasn't willing to take the chance, Albus had to be warned. Taking my wand in hand, I grabbed the nearest random object. It turned out that I'd snatched up my hairbrush that I'd strewn there the night before. Pointing my wand at it I muttered _'Portus' _and with my other hand I took hold of it.

I was transported directly into his room. With only my experience won balance I managed to stay upright. I could see his form lying on the side, but how was I to know that he was all right? Walking over to his bedside swiftly but silently so not to wake him up I could see his chest moving rhythmically up and down constantly. Yet even knowing this I was still not satisfied. Tentatively my hand crept forward towards his brow. It was warm, and he muttered in his sleep incoherently before shuddering awake.

"Minerva?"

_When I was  
Fumbling through your dresser drawer _

_Forgot what I was looking for  
Try to guide me in the right direction  
Making use of all this time  
Keeping everything inside  
Close my eyes and listen to you cry  
_

I should have told you so long ago Albus, as least I wouldn't be here now even if you don't love me. You would have steered me onto the right path. We would have talked and perhaps I never would have gone through what I have been through over these last few months. What a waste of time it was. But I had to keep it all inside; I didn't want any pity from you. I didn't want you to say things that you didn't mean and later would regret. But now, now it should come out. All of it, I only hope that you are patient with me, and do not turn away in disgust.

I'm lifting you up  
I'm letting you down  
I'm dancing til dawn  
I'm fooling around  
I'm not giving up  
I'm making your love  
This city's made us crazy and we must get out

'She was back' was the first thought that raced through my brain along with the elation at the sight of Minerva standing guard over me. 'Why' was the second which caused me to think more cautiously, and my heart slowed its racing somewhat.

_There's only so much I can do for you  
After all of the things you put me through_

"Minerva?", she had to know by now that there was only so much I could do for her. I'm only human, and after all that she made me go through these last few months, I'm under no circumstances going to let her go again after this. That was one thing that I couldn't do for her. One thing I will never do for her.

"Albus, I … I can explain for my untimely arrival at your bed in the early hours of this morning."

"My dear, my ears are at your disposal", not to mention every thing else…

"I had a … well I thought that you might have been in danger. I had a dream and it seemed so real. In it you were murdered along with the rest of my family while I could do nothing. He - he said that you would be next, and I had to come. I knew it was a dream but I had to come anyway…. I'm sorry"

"Minerva, you have nothing to be sorry about. Only what I don't understand is why this dream affected you so if you knew it was just that, a dream"

I had to ask. It was the best opening that I could think of. I was touched that she would act this way over a dream. It caused me to hope, hope that she did return my feelings. After all would she act in this same frantic way if it were some one else? No, he knew her too well; she would be calm and collected. Not this dishevelled witch that sat before him.

"I… I, uh, love you" she muttered hesitantly.

The joy that flowed through my body I have never experienced with such intensity before.

Cupping her face, I drew her towards me and softly kissed her. Her lips were soft, and slightly salty. Tears she had shed over me? I could only love her more. The kiss lasted for eons, but at the same time ended to soon.

And as we sat panting slightly for air, foreheads touching, leaning for support, I said it. She was looking at me wonderingly and I knew I had to tell her.

"Minerva, I love you too…."

I'm lifting you up  
I'm letting you down  
I'm dancing til dawn  
I'm fooling around

_I'm not giving up  
I'm making your love  
_

_This city's made us crazy and we must get out_

It was some hours later before either of them next spoke. They were cuddled together in Albus' living room when he said:

"Minerva the next time that you need to leave before you go crazy, take me with you."

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